A man of God, would fight for his godly principles , not against them. Might be cliched by ie good against evil works because the battle is a old as recoded time 🤔👍

I like the proposal , but the twist could be that his creator , was actually acting for the good of humanity in the final analysis🤔

I am for the original version and showing how contagious the ugly side of humanity can be once your cornered even if you are not human.

Sticking with the original logline.

a variation of your first theme option works better for me.

God’s natural law relates to the evolution of consciousness. if people-kind continue its materialistic denial of synchronicity (our psychic connection with all forms of life), it’s only natural we become the author of its own extinction event.

“People-kind is flawed and responsible for its own replacement.”

you guys are approaching this issue of faith from a shallow point of view. I don’t see Dowd’s conflict having anything to do with his faith in God.

I see “Dowd” as an Ozzie mixed-blood, part Aboriginal / part Brit, who has firmly embraced his “Indigenous soul” since a child. this means he has deep faith in his connection to the collective consciousness (God / Great Spirit) and therefore is open to what can be learned from dreams, higher life forms and alternative spiritual healing strategies. however, his neo-colonial / imperialistic wife, “Commodore Katheryn Freisler”, has drunk the materialistic Kool-Aid and only has faith in “modern” pharmaceutical drugs and surgical procedures, like the questionable chemotherapy the doctors encourage them to treat the Leukaemia threatened Tobias.

when their beloved son dies horribly, this causes Dowd deep grief, anger and resentment of his wife, modern doctors and his materialistic culture. being a proud and skilled warrior from his years as a Navy diver, he at first is willing to do his part against the “evil” aliens. Dowd then begins to question his government’s paranoia, however apparently justified. this would better explain his being conflicted with Katheryn, the ultimate breakdown in their relationship and his eventual attraction to the Siren Kayla.

logline options: I would stick with the “original” logline. your alternative proposals smack of a fundamentalist religious theme, rather than a “spiritual transformation”.

as an aboriginal person, I have a problem with your “Old Testament” notion of an angry God. most of the planet’s population do not share this Abrahamic notion of God. as mentioned above:

God’s natural law relates to the evolution of consciousness. if people-kind continue its materialistic denial of synchronicity (our psychic connection with all forms of life), it’s only natural we become the author of its own extinction event.

I like the original logline-let the fact his faith plays such a part unfold with the story.

I love the proposed theme ‘Humanity is flawed and due for replacement.’ (I mean we all know this is true right? 😉) But does the Creator have the right to upgrade?
I wasn’t sold on the foundation of faith at first maybe because in the forces you may see and do some things while ‘Serving Australia with Pride’ that would contradict your beliefs or certainly cause great internal conflict (so perhaps it’s something Dowd has always struggled with) but I can see how it will fit with the proposed storylines, death, love, power, leadership and of course the ego…is mankind really the superior species?
And the tag line I would not say God I’d just say
‘There’s a new plan for earth.
Humanity’s not part of it.’

DANG! Apparently, the POLL service auto disables after 250 views.
Comments only folks. Sorry.

I like the new changes but prefer the original logline without doubt. I think its stronger. I look forward to filiming this monster (pardon the pun!!!).

HELLO DAVE…
SO WHAT IS THE WAY FORWARD WITH THE RECOMMENDATIONS?

THANKS.

That’s great Dave.
Sure, the firefighter work is underway, sourcing for investors/eps/funds.

Test

Awesome!!!

More on THEME.
Let your theme be your story Sherpa.
Theme should be expressed as a QUESTION or a PROVOCATIVE STATEMENT that provokes a clear OPPOSITION that allows us to explore that theme from every angle possible leading to the MESSAGE and resolve.

• The protagonist’s character arc = theme.
• The protagonist and the nemesis = Two halves of the same coin.
• Theme has many faces to explore to fully explore it
* Each character in the story will help to explore some facet or degree of the theme.